All of my Loves

I go to Polyvore and Pinterest on low spoon days.(see bottom if you do not know what I am referring to) This way I can still be creative, and share ideas with others. On Polyvore, I like to create sets I would actually wear in real life. There's no heels in my current life; pants and bottoms tend to be loose fitting. Case in point, the harem pants. They don't put pressure on my abdomen and hips, which is great! Comfort is key, so maxi skirts, hoodies, etc. I have worn sarees on special occasions, so that's totally justified in my collections. I am extremely passionate about dance. I began learning around five yrs of age, and never wanted to stop, even when my parents couldn't afford lessons anymore. One of my biggest heartbreaks when I started getting sick was not being able to dance anymore. Endometriosis and Interstitial Cystitis took over my body and life; It took years before I started to dance again. It is the fire in me. Whether others think I am talented or any good, it really doesn't matter. I honestly feel the spirit move through me. A connection to all things. I am determined to learn Kathak and Bharatnatyam, two of the eight classical dances in India. (represented by the gungroo (dancing bells) and statue of Nataraja) Hailing from the North and South, respectively. More about my love of India another day! My desire for travel and adventure is represented by the photo of the open road. So many places on my bucket list! How would you define me, with just the images below? It all boils down to living with an open heart and mind for me. By the way, If it looks like I cannot separate my paragraphs, it's because my blog hates me today. No, really. Maybe it's the link from Polyvore?? Who knows.

All my Loves by willowsong81 featuring bronze bookends

"Spoons as illustrated in the Spoon theory http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/ This literally changed my life

In Case You Missed it...

In case anyone missed it...

If you're not familiar with the work of Ms.Jenna, she happens to cuss now and again. But, the message remains very powerful. I completely agree, even if I have trouble being my authentic self. I recognize that it's a process, and am not exactly at the point of awesomeness that Ms. Marbles. And that's ok. BUT, I am further along, and that much closer to finding the real me.

Surprisingly enough, it was going through the extremely difficult times at the onset of  illnesses that I had the most growth. I started to see the friends who only appreciated my skinny, blonde, healthy, party-girl persona, and the ones who could care less if I was in sweats.  Even the family members who were using me for their own selfish ends; the ones I was no longer able to do favors for. 

It has been a very painful (in more ways than one) decade. Following almost as equally painful teen years. However, it was not in vain. I am proud of me for still standing. Or hunching over in pain. Whatever. 

She makes a brilliant point about it being lonely being yourself and not listening to others. I know for a fact that I am unique, just as you are, but if I had stayed with a particular group of friends, I would not be the super-amazing chic I am today. Or follow my passions and dreams. For instance, I can't count the times others have made fun of me for wearing mehndi or bindis , listening to Hindi music, having purple hair, etc. Someone will always have an issue with something you do. There will be someone that doesn't understand. I am not harming anyone. I do not use aspects of other cultures for my own gain or because I think it's "cool" or "trendy." On the contrary, I tend to gravitate toward things that is against the grain. Especially for my b.f.e town.  

She also brought up a another good point. Being your complete self assures you that the people that do love and care for you, love the real you! It comforts me to know the people I surround myself with, and actually let see glimpses of the real me, really love me for who I am.